You know exactly what you should do. So why aren’t you doing it?
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “Why can’t I just follow through?” You’ve read the books. You’ve done the workshops. You know what’s “healthy.” You even start strong… But somewhere between good intentions and everyday life, you stall. You hesitate. You stop.
And the hardest part? You don’t even know why.
It’s Not Laziness. It’s Protection.
For years, I blamed myself. I thought I needed more discipline, more structure—maybe even a better planner. But what I actually needed was this truth:
Sometimes we pause, delay, or self-sabotage not because we’re lazy—but because our brain is trying to protect us. It’s running old scripts. Familiar patterns. Even if those patterns don’t work, they feel safe.
The Real Reason We “Start Over” So Often
Especially in midlife, when hormones, roles, and routines are shifting, our nervous system gets loud. We default to survival mode. And survival mode says, “Stick with what you know. Don’t risk failure. Let’s not try too hard today.”
Sound familiar? That inner voice isn’t cruel. It’s cautious. But it’s also the voice that keeps you in the same cycle of starting, stopping, and second-guessing.
So, what do you do instead?
You pause. Not to fix. Not to hustle. But to notice.
Here’s a question I offer my clients, and one you can try today:
💬 “What would my future self want for me right now?”
Ask it in the middle of a busy day. Ask it when you feel stuck, tired, or unsure. Ask it when the old pattern starts creeping in—like when you’re standing in your kitchen at 9pm, wanting to stress-eat, or when you suddenly feel exhausted thinking about that project you were excited about yesterday.
You don’t need a perfect answer. Just space to hear something new.
Here’s another one to try: “What am I protecting myself from right now?” Sometimes just naming the fear takes away its power.
Start With Curiosity, Not Criticism
If you’re doing this work on your own right now, let that be enough. You’re not behind. You’re becoming.
Start with awareness: Notice when you suddenly lose steam on something that felt important – Notice the stories you tell when progress feels slow (“I always do this,” “I’m just not disciplined”) – Notice the physical sensations that come before you shut down—tight chest, shallow breathing, that familiar heaviness
That’s the work. Not to force something new, but to recognize what’s been running the show. And gently, day by day, take the wheel back.
Your Next Step
Tomorrow, try asking yourself that future self question just once. Maybe when you’re brushing your teeth or waiting for your coffee to brew. See what comes up. No pressure to act on it—just listen.
Final Thought
You don’t need a new diet. You need a new dialogue with yourself. And it begins not with rules or routines, but with the way you see yourself in the messy middle.
Your future self is already within you. She’s calm. She’s clear. She knows what matters.
Let’s start listening to her.
If you’ve been stuck in the cycle of starting over, I want you to know—there’s nothing wrong with you. You just haven’t been taught how to work with your mind instead of against it. And learning to work with your mind? That’s exactly what this work is about.
💛 Ready to begin shifting that today?
📥 Grab my free reflection guide, 👉 The Path to a Better You! A gentle mindset reset for midlife women to take the first step toward lasting change.
🗓 Or if you’re ready for a deeper conversation, you can 👉 book a private call with me here: Free Breakthrough session
Because lasting change doesn’t start with more control. It starts with self-trust.
With heart, 💛 Lorri-Lynn
