We’ve all been there—staring at the treadmill, the yoga mat, or the running shoes, mentally wrestling with that nagging voice: “I should work out today.” But what if that very word—“should”—is the reason you’re stuck in a cycle of guilt and resistance?
The Trap of Self-Enforced Obligations
There’s a subtle but powerful difference between
💬 “I get to move my body today.”
💬 “I should get on the treadmill today.”
One feels like freedom. The other? Like a chore—even when we know it’s “good for us.”
One of my clients once told me about the beautiful Peloton and treadmill sitting unused in her home.
“It’s not that I’m lazy,” she said. “I just don’t like being told what to do—even by myself.”
Can you relate?
The Real Problem: Identity vs. Obligation
When we frame wellness as something we should do, we unintentionally create resistance:
🚫 Rebellion kicks in (yes, even against ourselves)
🚫 It starts to feel like deprivation (“There goes my cozy morning.”)
🚫 We reinforce old stories like “I’m someone who never follows through.”
But when we shift from pressure to permission, everything changes.
The Reframe: Permission Over Pressure
Here’s what we worked on:
✨ Replace “should” with “want.”
Old: “I should exercise because I spent money on this equipment.”
New: “I want to move because I feel strong and proud when I do.”
✨ Focus on identity, not obligation
“What if I’m someone who enjoys movement? What would she choose today?”
✨ Start absurdly small
– 5 minutes of stretching
– Dancing to a favorite song
– Taking a deep breath and asking, “How do I want to feel?”
Your Turn
Try this:
- Catch a “should” (write it down).
- Ask, “Do I actually want this? Why?”
- Pick one small action that feels aligned with your want.
💡 “I don’t have to work out. I get to move in a way that feels good today.”
✨ Want help shifting that mindset?
📥 Grab my free guide: The Path to a Better You
🗓 Or book a free clarity call with me to map out your next step → Book a Breakthrough Call
What’s one “should” you can reframe today?
